( as soon as dimitri asks, john knows that he's going to have to lie.
he doesn't want to. if he had full control and capability, he would look to dimitri right now and tell him exactly what the consequences might be — what he suspects might happen, though he has good reason to believe that they, as Shard-Bearers, might have ways of mitigating them (even if this is likely feeble self-justification). but that's what he would do, as a human being with fairly average conceptions of decency and morality. that is not all there is to him anymore. as the Archivist, as an avatar of the Eye — and not to mention being basically the Eye's vessel, at this point — he feels as though telling dimitri the full truth would be just about as possible as stopping his own heart with sheer concentration alone.
as in: it's not. not when he's this weak, when he — when it — feels so starved and so desperate. he perceives it as a threat to the offer of a decent "meal," and so he can't endanger that.
the absolute best he can manage is a partial truth, omitting that which he believes is the most troublesome consequence of all of this. ) In a way, that's difficult for me to say. I... have heard that it can dredge up the feeling of the memory, and some have learned to - to cope with that better than others, in the time that's passed since the event occurred. It - should be temporary.
( no, he's not lying. some are particularly ill-equipped for what giving a statement can do to them, but they are usually not the ones who volunteer. the most relevant contribution he could say here but omits is that of the dreams, but... )
No - that's not going to be necessary. ( to having to touch, that is. usually this is around the time he would walk him through a certain amount of script — statements submitted to the Institute had a certain format after all. but he's no longer in or associated with the Institute, so he can't see that as necessary. )
Whatever it is that you have to share - start at the beginning. Once you do so, you should answer your own questions.
( it's a hypnotic quality to his voice, a sort of enthralling aspect of the Eye, that facilitates it. many accounts might be jumbled by the subject's memory, fragmented by the panic of the moment and the erosion of time, or the individual just might not be a very good storyteller themself. the Eye's power intercedes, does what it can to make up for shortcomings. it's rather like tapping a tree — once he starts telling the story, the rest should flow out — whether he's prepared for it to or not. )
no subject
he doesn't want to. if he had full control and capability, he would look to dimitri right now and tell him exactly what the consequences might be — what he suspects might happen, though he has good reason to believe that they, as Shard-Bearers, might have ways of mitigating them (even if this is likely feeble self-justification). but that's what he would do, as a human being with fairly average conceptions of decency and morality. that is not all there is to him anymore. as the Archivist, as an avatar of the Eye — and not to mention being basically the Eye's vessel, at this point — he feels as though telling dimitri the full truth would be just about as possible as stopping his own heart with sheer concentration alone.
as in: it's not. not when he's this weak, when he — when it — feels so starved and so desperate. he perceives it as a threat to the offer of a decent "meal," and so he can't endanger that.
the absolute best he can manage is a partial truth, omitting that which he believes is the most troublesome consequence of all of this. ) In a way, that's difficult for me to say. I... have heard that it can dredge up the feeling of the memory, and some have learned to - to cope with that better than others, in the time that's passed since the event occurred. It - should be temporary.
( no, he's not lying. some are particularly ill-equipped for what giving a statement can do to them, but they are usually not the ones who volunteer. the most relevant contribution he could say here but omits is that of the dreams, but... )
No - that's not going to be necessary. ( to having to touch, that is. usually this is around the time he would walk him through a certain amount of script — statements submitted to the Institute had a certain format after all. but he's no longer in or associated with the Institute, so he can't see that as necessary. )
Whatever it is that you have to share - start at the beginning. Once you do so, you should answer your own questions.
( it's a hypnotic quality to his voice, a sort of enthralling aspect of the Eye, that facilitates it. many accounts might be jumbled by the subject's memory, fragmented by the panic of the moment and the erosion of time, or the individual just might not be a very good storyteller themself. the Eye's power intercedes, does what it can to make up for shortcomings. it's rather like tapping a tree — once he starts telling the story, the rest should flow out — whether he's prepared for it to or not. )