( it's a trust that very well might feel violated by the end of all of this.
and whatever consequences might arise from that will simply have to be dealt with later! it certainly wouldn't be the first or the last time for john. daisy had threatened to kill him once she realized the active role he played in visiting her dreams, night after night. ultimately her joining the Institute officially had solved that problem — those under the auspices of the Eye were protected from such continued scrutiny.
he does, however, feel moderately confident that Shard-Bearers would be able to recognize what was happening and block him out if they wanted. manon had. well, either that, or he is now dead. john isn't sure which.
the fear that dimitri presents is a sacrifice laid on an altar. what he does now — presenting a statement of fear to the Archivist of the Eye — is a minor ritual that has been performed likely for as long as humans were able to classify their own fear to different sources. as he speaks, john turns to look at him, and it's an odd sensation. it's not just that the Archivist's gaze is piercing and unnerving, the depths of his pupils seeming to have their own gravitational pull, drawing the words and everything else around them down towards their crushing and infinite depths — though, yes, this is also the case. it can also feel like attention alights on him from every angle, even though they are largely isolated here; as if there were eyes and ears hidden everywhere, all jostling and jockeying with one another to learn of that which he typically keeps hidden.
as he speaks, several thoughts — several sensations — occur to john. a knifelike finger stabbed into his chest; the feeling of being hunted by those bent on his chase; the white-hot and wild fury of a scalpel plunged into his shoulder. the Spiral. the Hunt. the Slaughter. they do not exist in the actuality that the Eye continues to do so now, but they lie dormant in john, inscribed in the Marks that he was specifically set up to bear. now, they react towards dimitri, resonating with both the source of his own fear and how he could provide a source to others'. )
What happened, which caused it to begin? For you to - lose yourself, like this, ( he prompts. )
no subject
and whatever consequences might arise from that will simply have to be dealt with later! it certainly wouldn't be the first or the last time for john. daisy had threatened to kill him once she realized the active role he played in visiting her dreams, night after night. ultimately her joining the Institute officially had solved that problem — those under the auspices of the Eye were protected from such continued scrutiny.
he does, however, feel moderately confident that Shard-Bearers would be able to recognize what was happening and block him out if they wanted. manon had. well, either that, or he is now dead. john isn't sure which.
the fear that dimitri presents is a sacrifice laid on an altar. what he does now — presenting a statement of fear to the Archivist of the Eye — is a minor ritual that has been performed likely for as long as humans were able to classify their own fear to different sources. as he speaks, john turns to look at him, and it's an odd sensation. it's not just that the Archivist's gaze is piercing and unnerving, the depths of his pupils seeming to have their own gravitational pull, drawing the words and everything else around them down towards their crushing and infinite depths — though, yes, this is also the case. it can also feel like attention alights on him from every angle, even though they are largely isolated here; as if there were eyes and ears hidden everywhere, all jostling and jockeying with one another to learn of that which he typically keeps hidden.
as he speaks, several thoughts — several sensations — occur to john. a knifelike finger stabbed into his chest; the feeling of being hunted by those bent on his chase; the white-hot and wild fury of a scalpel plunged into his shoulder. the Spiral. the Hunt. the Slaughter. they do not exist in the actuality that the Eye continues to do so now, but they lie dormant in john, inscribed in the Marks that he was specifically set up to bear. now, they react towards dimitri, resonating with both the source of his own fear and how he could provide a source to others'. )
What happened, which caused it to begin? For you to - lose yourself, like this, ( he prompts. )