( he can sense the pain inherent in admitting to it, and he mirrors it — not just out of a reflexive sense of sympathy, or at least not only because of it. john has felt similarly despite not really being a man predisposed to violence (and certainly not one really capable of it, or at least not usually). it is a natural response in grief and hurt, he thinks, to lash out; a sort of animal instinct residual in them, despite what sense would otherwise dictate. some even do so blindly, so the fact that dimitri had at least focused his attention on those that had initially done the harm to him was already at least one step in the... "right" direction?
he listens, passive, receptive. both Communion and the power of the Eye leech information from dimitri that he doesn't even necessarily give outright, painting a picture of the scene that he describes; the dark and quiet of a grave, sharp apprehensive and anticipation of the situation they had been responding to. the shock of betrayal that such a sudden revelation might elicit is certainly something that would impact someone deeply, which might even push them to such a vicious response as dimitri had committed — which he to this day is concerned about repeating. )
There is little room for logic in times such as that.
( he has certainly had his share of blind emotional responses to high-intensity situations — ironic enough for someone so aligned with sight.
he considers what dimitri has told him for a moment, what he has shared — though he doesn't doubt that it's true that he fears most what he had become, what he very well might become again... he can't help but think that the underlying factor is what is written more deeply into his psyche. it is, after all, what he has to assume is the reason why such a thing had occurred. )
Though... the primary reason you reacted so strongly was because of this - tragedy that occurred, which resulted in the death of your family. This memory is the threshold to what you fear most, yes... but do you think it's correct to say that what happened when you lost them has shaped your life more as a result?
no subject
he listens, passive, receptive. both Communion and the power of the Eye leech information from dimitri that he doesn't even necessarily give outright, painting a picture of the scene that he describes; the dark and quiet of a grave, sharp apprehensive and anticipation of the situation they had been responding to. the shock of betrayal that such a sudden revelation might elicit is certainly something that would impact someone deeply, which might even push them to such a vicious response as dimitri had committed — which he to this day is concerned about repeating. )
There is little room for logic in times such as that.
( he has certainly had his share of blind emotional responses to high-intensity situations — ironic enough for someone so aligned with sight.
he considers what dimitri has told him for a moment, what he has shared — though he doesn't doubt that it's true that he fears most what he had become, what he very well might become again... he can't help but think that the underlying factor is what is written more deeply into his psyche. it is, after all, what he has to assume is the reason why such a thing had occurred. )
Though... the primary reason you reacted so strongly was because of this - tragedy that occurred, which resulted in the death of your family. This memory is the threshold to what you fear most, yes... but do you think it's correct to say that what happened when you lost them has shaped your life more as a result?