hauntedking | [KENOS] IC Inbox

What makes you think that?

[ Whatever would he be overcompensating for? ]

...I know that when I was at my lowest I was angry. Maybe even cruel. I feel as if I may be making up for that somehow.

...Dimitri.

[ Casting good posture aside again, he props his elbows on his thighs and leans in marginally closer, as though this conversation is somehow conspirational. ]

I doubt I know the half of what you went through. I'm sure the actions you regret, you'll try to set right. I'm equally sure you know my own hands aren't clean.

[ Even so, he lifts a hand, reaching to press a finger to the middle of Dimitri's chest. ]

But this you've got here? It's a good one.

[ He doesn't think the kindness Dimitri has shown him has been in recompense for anything. Rather, it's his belief that it's who Dimitri is at his core. A kind man can still be capable of cruel things. ]

[ Dimitri listens attentively and perhaps with a hint of sheepishness. He hadn't intended to draw this kind of comment out after all, but Yuri is providing it all the same. It's touching, even if he sometimes struggles to fully believe such things. ]

Yuri...

[ He lowers his gaze. ]

...thank you. I didn't mean to make this about me. But... I try to let that guide me and remember that I do believe in people.

Hey, if you think those sorts of things about yourself, I'd rather you go ahead and say it. Then I can tell you what I see.

[ It's a sore temptation to have instead said that he could then tell Dimitri those self-critical notions are bunk, but he opts for that gentler phrasing and a lopsided smile. ]

Besides, who ever said I'd mind talking about you?

[ That isn't the point, he knows, as he draws his hand back. ]

Well, no one...

[ He laughs softly. ]

But you're hardly here to listen to my troubles. This is meant to be a respite, surely.

[ Yuri watches him thoughtfully, then huffs out a breath. ]

I know this will come as a shock to you, but I happen to like you, Dimitri.

[ Said with some humor, but he does mean that last part. ]

And I'm not having a bad time here. Are you?

Well, no, but... I don't like to impose all the same.

[ He clears his throat. He should think better of himself, shouldn't he? But it's still an uphill trek, it feels like. ]

It makes me feel as if I'm not a good host.

Perhaps, if you were a host I wasn't on familiar terms with, that would be true.

[ He couldn't care less about the woes of many a noble in the past, but Dimitri? Dimitri is another matter entirely. ]

But we're— [ Yuri pauses, evidently second-guessing himself, before venturing: ] friends, aren't we?

[ The word tastes strange, when used in earnest. ]

...yes.

[ Dimitri almost laughs, his face splitting in a smile. ]

Yes, we are, aren't we?

[ Yuri smiles in turn, his relief tugging at his lips.

...He'll wonder why that feeling impresses upon him later. ]

So long as we're in agreement, I think so. Not that I'm any expert on how it works.

[ He can poke a little fun at himself. ]

Not an expert in friends? Don't sell yourself short, Yuri.

[ There's a low laugh from him. ]

[ His smile turns wry around the edges. ]

It's true, in this case.

[ Dimitri's probably heard something from the rumor mill by now, so— ]

Not even giving my actual name makes me something of a cold man, doesn't it?

Well... you have your reasons. I can't say they're the wrong reasons, after all.

[ Yuri stares at him for a good, long moment.

Then he can't help it, puffing out an amused breath. Dimitri's a determined man, he'll give him that. ]

Guess I can't complain if you see me that way.

[ Just another reason no one will ever convince him Dimitri isn't kindhearted. ]

And I wouldn't complain about discussing whatever's on your mind, so you don't need to go worrying about being a poor host. That's just not possible.

Then I suppose we're agreed. And we'll have to find something to discuss!

[ He leans back in his seat, smiling. ]

I... suppose I still worry about all of it. About whether or not I'll be able to support who I can or whether I really am good at heart. But the person I discuss this with - that therapist - they're helpful.

I'm game for anything.

[ When Dimitri eases back into his seat, Yuri mirrors that body language, though not before he grabs one of those snacks he'd left sitting on the table.

He'll not have Dimitri think he doesn't like what he set out for them. ]

I'm glad they do — help, I mean. [ A pause as he samples the snack be picked up, followed by a low, appreciative hum. ] I suspect I know how you feel, but for what it's worth, I know you're a good man. Good men can do bad things, when faced with rough circumstances.

[ It's a logic he doesn't extend to himself, but he believes in Dimitri. This one that he's gotten to know in the months since his arrival. ]

True, I suppose. But we should strive to avoid this bad things when we can... or else we may find ourselves turning into something altogether alien to us. It does weigh on me... it always does. But I do my best not to let it consume me anymore. That... well. It doesn't help anyone, does it?

That's true, it doesn't avail us any. Acknowledging that it's not the way you want to be isn't wrong... Just don't punish yourself too much or for too long over it, yeah?

[ Pot, kettle. ]

So long as you keep doing the best you can, you'll get there.

...and you as well. I don't think I'd want to get there without you.

[ He is utterly sincere and also incredibly unaware of how that sounds. ]

[ Will some owlish staring clue Dimitri in?

Stay tuned. ]

...Yuri? Did I say something wrong?

[ Uh.

Help? ]

[ Yuri recovers after a delay, hastily waving the concern away. ]

No, no, it's—

[ How to explain? ]

If I didn't know better, I'd think you were implying something there.

[ Surely not... ]

Implying...?

[ It takes a moment and then Yuri gets a chance to see his cheeks and ears start to turn red. ]

Oh.

[ He can't help smiling at the sight. Dimitri's adorable when he's flustered. ]

I'm almost envious — you really could charm someone without so much as trying.

[ Yuri can no more resist teasing than he could smiling, though "charm" is decidedly one of the softest words he could use. Dimitri's already red as it is. ]

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